Nepvania
by Ocrilio
Summary: Chasing rumors regarding the disappearance of Neptune, Juddy and Jeremy discover something much more sinister behind the castle walls...
1. Nepvania

**'Sup, you lot. Juddy here, and actually submitting! Huzzah.**

 **This fanfiction is actually based on a fangame a friend of mine created, by the title of... you guessed it, 'Nepvania'.  
I'd link it, but it seems doesn't like that. So, just search for the name on the Steam Workshop, and you'll find it.**

 **Now, on with the show!**

* * *

"So this is what the locals were talking about."

Juddy took in the looming structure ahead of him.

According to the people of the area, this castle just appeared in this particular lake overnight. Legends say that it does so once every hundred years, changing its layout every time.

It reminded Juddy of a game he'd liked to play back in his world.

But this was no Demon Castle.

Something very different resided within these castle walls.

And apparently, this castle had appeared just as Neptune went missing.

It had seemed innocuous enough at first, but that was before a week had passed without contact.

And then the rumour mill began spinning.

Rumours that a purple-clad figure could be seen within the castle, if one waited long enough.

Usually, Juddy wouldn't be one to follow mere rumour, but this was the only lead that had presented itself.

He heaved a deep sigh, hoping that Histoire and Nepgear could hold down the fort until he returned.

Preferably, with Neptune in tow.

Juddy clicked his tongue. "Troublemaker."

With that thought, and axe in hand, he ventured into the castle's front gates, and through the main entrance as both closed behind him.

He sighed again. "Guess there's no turning back now."

"Damn right there isn't. The castle was waiting for you."

 _'That voice...!'_

Juddy looked around frantically for the source, and caught a glimpse of a familiar brown coat.

"Oh, don't look so surprised, Juddy. You knew I'd be here."

Juddy shot the man a smile. "Sure hope you left some undead fodder for me, Jeremy."

Jeremy grinned back. "Heh, I'm not sure. There's probably a vampire or something around here."

Juddy deadpanned. "I'm not equipped for vampires."

"Pfft, sure you are. You could just burn 'em."

"As if that'd work," Juddy argued. "It doesn't say anywhere that vampires can be killed by fire."

Jeremy shrugged. "Doesn't say anywhere that they can't, either."

Juddy lifted a finger to counter, then paused.

 _'Damn it, he has a point.'_

"Forget it, then," he relented, waving a hand. "So, did you find out anything interesting?"

Jeremy raised his own finger. "Actually, I have. First off, according to another guy I talked to on the way here, Nep's here."

Juddy's eyes widened. _'So the lead was on the money after all.'_

"And," Jeremy continued, holding up another finger, "she's holed herself up in the throne room upstairs. He said she wouldn't let anyone but 'the first of the Chosen Four' in."

Something clicked in Juddy's head. "So that 's why you said the castle was waiting for me."

"Yup. Seems like you're special," Jeremy teased.

"Oh, can it. So is there anything more, or...?"

"Not unless you count the chest above us as another thing," Jeremy stated, pointing up.

Sure enough, there was a chest perched on a broken walkway above the two.  
Just above it, though, was a collapsed marble pillar, blocking the way.

"That's an awfully convenient pillar," Juddy noted.

"No kidding," Jeremy agreed. "I've tried shooting through it, but it blocks my shots strangely well."

Juddy stared at the scene above him, thinking.

A moment later, he came up with something.

"Hold on. I'm gonna take a crack at it," he decided, stepping back a few paces.

Jeremy stared at his partner-in-crime, confused. "Wait, what are you-"

Before Jeremy could finish, Juddy ran full-tilt and leapt at the wall, using his momentum to kick off of it.  
He then kicked off of the adjacent wall, conserving enough momentum to ascend.

One last wall-kick brought Juddy to the same walkway the marble pillar was resting on.

Jeremy blinked in disbelief. "I have so many questions right now."

Juddy smirked. "And I'll answer them later. Now, how do I break this thing?"

"I dunno, try stomping on it."

Juddy stopped for a moment, then shrugged. "Sure."

He jumped into the air, then used his _Hyper Stomp_ skill. As expected, the pillar smashed into pieces, and he landed on the walkway, which somehow held.

As if spurred on by some unknown force, Juddy opened the chest.

* * *

After a few minutes of silence, Juddy jumped down from the walkway.

"So?" Jeremy asked. "What was in the chest?"

Juddy grinned. "The _Vampire Killer._ "

"You mean the legendary Belmont whip?"

"One and the same."

"Jeez, I'm a little jealous."

Juddy scoffed. "You have _guns_. All I had coming in here was an _axe._ "

Jeremy deadpanned. "An axe would've been more useful than my guns."

"What, didn't you pack any silver bullets?" Juddy teased.

"Oh, quiet, you."

The two shared a laugh as they ascended the stairs to the second floor.

* * *

Once they reached the top of the stairs, however, the two were greeted by an unexpected guest.

 _"Foolish mortals! You dare enter Castle Nepskull?"_

Juddy and Jeremy stared blankly at the caped figure.

 _"You shall pay for your insolence!"_

The figure then vanished from their sight, replaced by a bat.

The bat then slammed into Juddy at an immeasurable speed. Juddy, however, kept his footing, sliding across the carpet.

"Oh. Oh, this fucker did _not_ just wing-smash me," he growled, uncoiling the Vampire Killer from his belt.

"Try that again. C'mon."

 _"Fool! You can never defeat me!"_ the vampire screeched, rearing up for another wing-smash.

As the bat flew into range, Juddy dodged, then snapped the whip right into its head.

The vampire snapped out of its transformation, then floated into the air, writhing in pain and screaming in agony, before dissolving into blood particles, which then disappeared.

Juddy reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out a Nep Bull, downing it in one gulp. He winced at its bitter taste.  
"Ugh. Still tastes like shit."

"Huh," Jeremy spoke. "So this is what it's like to be totally ineffectual."

Juddy smiled. "Congratulations; you now know what it's like to be a side-character."

Jeremy rolled his eyes. "Whatever. Let's just finish this already."

Juddy nodded at Jeremy as they ascended yet another pair of stairs.

The extravagant doors swung open at their arrival.

"Looks like she's expecting us, eh?" Juddy noted.

"Yeah," Jeremy replied. "Time to nip us some Nep-Nep."

Neptune's throne room was as you'd expect from her tastes.

It somehow resembled Planeptune's Basilicom in its decoration; pastel colours, game console within reach, and a fridge nearby.  
Juddy assumed it was stocked with pudding.

However, there was one difference; the large throne at the end of the hall.

And perched upon it, pudding in hand, was none other than Neptune.

"So, you're here. I didn't expect you so soon."

Juddy rushed to the throne and yelled "Die, moeblob! You don't belong in this world!"

Neptune scoffed. " It was not by _my_ hand that I am once again given flesh; I was called here by... _otaku_ who wished to pay _me_ tribute!"

Juddy couldn't believe what he was hearing. " _Tribute_?! You steal nerds' souls... and make them your slaves!"

"Perhaps the same could be said of _all_ lolicon..." Neptune shot back.

"Your words are as empty as your soul! Gamers ill need a saviour such as _you_!"

"...What is a gamer?" Neptune asked, throwing her glass of pudding to the ground as she stood.  
"A miserable little pile of neckbeardery!"

Then, brandishing her wooden sword, she cried "But enough talk! Have at you!"

Juddy gritted his teeth. "Ready, Jeremy?"

Jeremy was beside Juddy in an instant, rifle in hand. "Ready."

He was the first to attack, firing a volley of shots at Neptune. Each shot hit its mark, but she wasn't slowed down at all.

Juddy was next, opting to enchant the Vampire Killer with some of his fire magic.

Neptune rushed at Jeremy, who dodged her sword slashes with relative ease.

He retaliated by loading a _Paralysis Bolt_ and taking aim. "Juddy! Distract her!"

Juddy noticed the rifle trained on Neptune, and nodded. "Got it."

Using the wall-kick technique, he dodged her thrust and snapped his whip into her back a few times while her stick was lodged in the wall.

"Ugh! Hey... no... fair!"

Juddy grinned at her. "All's fair in love and war, Neppy!"

Jeremy gave a grin as well. "Target... _locked_."

Just as Neptune dislodged the wooden sword, Jeremy fired the bolt.  
The bolt hit her right in the chest and discharged its payload, knocking her off-balance.

"Juddy! _Now!_ "

Juddy let out a breath, and concentrated his most powerful fire spell.

 _"Nuclear."_

A tiny ball of flame appeared in front of Neptune. Just as she came into contact with it, it detonated with the force of a nuclear bomb.

The duo shielded their eyes from the blast.

As the smoke cleared, the scenery darkened.

"I'll _slice ya in half!_ "

As the two lowered their arms, they were just in time to feel a burst of air clear the rest of the smoke.

Neptune rushed at Juddy, who barely had time to react.

 _"Cross Combination!"_

As she swung fiercely at Juddy, Jeremy put down his rifle and reached into his coat, pulling out two pistols.

By the time she finished her barrage, Juddy was barely holding on, his Flame enchant wearing off.

She then dashed at Jeremy, who proceeded to open fire.

As Neptune and Jeremy traded bullets and blows, Juddy pulled out another Nep Bull and gulped it down.

"Hey, Nep!" he yelled.

"Huh?"

Using the distraction, Jeremy cast a Tornado spell, causing Neptune to become disoriented.

Juddy waited until the tornado cleared, then rushed at her with all his might.

 _ **20-hit combo!**_

 _ **Neptune has been slain!**_

 _ **Juddy and Jeremy are victorious!**_

* * *

Juddy sat in bewilderment, staring at the television screen.

Seated next to him was Neptune, beaming.

"Neptune?" he sighed.

"Yeah, Juddy?" she asked.

"Do you... _actually_ call that a game?"

"Yup!" she replied, still beaming. "It's my best work! So what do you think?"

Juddy stood up, mentally exhausted. "I _think_ I need some air."

Neptune grabbed his sleeve, pulling him back onto the couch. "Hold on! You haven't seen the credits yet, Juddy!"

He paused for a moment, then sighed. "Alright, _fine._ "

What followed was a series of names and random comments from Neptune that apparently included her not knowing what copyright was.

Juddy deadpanned, then stood up once more, and left his apartment in Planeptune without a word.

"Wow. He was totally speechless!" Neptune cried happily, bouncing while still sitting on his couch. "This is game-of-the-year material for sure!"

* * *

 **Can you tell I skimped out on the end of the fight? Yeah, you can tell.**

 **The game I mentioned - and by extension, this fic - are actually set in the universe of an upcoming project of mine, called _Hyperdivinity Neptunia.  
_** **I don't do things without reason, you know.**

 **So yeah, look out for that.**

 **Until next time!**


	2. BONUS: An Alternate Confrontation

**And now, a bonus alternate scene.**

Juddy rushed to the throne, staring down its occupant.

"Neptune. Die now, and leave this world. You'll never belong here!"

Neptune scoffed. " Oh, but this world _invited_ me. Your _own kind_ called me forth with praise and tribute."

Juddy couldn't believe what he was hearing. " _Tribute_?! You steal nerds' souls... their freedom..."

"Freedom is always sacrificed to moe, good hero." Neptune grinned slyly. "Or are you _truly_ here by choice?"

"All I'm here for is you. To hell with your fanservice. You're nothing but a blight on gamer-kind."

"...Hah. _Gamer-kind_ ," Neptune spat, throwing her glass of pudding to the ground as she stood.  
"A cesspit of hatred and lies."

Then, brandishing her wooden sword, she cried "Fight for them, then, and _die for their sins!_ "

 **Just in case there were people out there that preferred the Portable version of the speech.**

 **And now, for some responses!**

 _ **Cobaltroid:**_ **Yup, that was me as well. I didn't expect to find someone who'd watched the playthrough!**

 _ **AIYF Productions:**_ **I have big things in store regarding that particular story. Glad to hear interest someone whose stories I've read and enjoyed.**

 **And that's all from me for now.**

 **Until next time!**


End file.
